As a wife, mom and grad school student with a full-time job, I don’t get to spend as much time with my son as I would like to. There are moments when I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt when he calls me crying from my mom’s house or texts me from his iPad saying he misses me. I constantly have to remind myself that everything I do is to provide him with a better life.
With 70% of mothers with underage children in the United States workforce, I am surely not alone in these feelings. Society tells us that we are the caretakers of the family and we’re
nurturers by nature, but this should not stop us from accomplishing the goals we set for
ourselves.
Here are some tips on how to switch off the mama guilt.
1. Remember That When We Accomplish Our Goals, So Do Our Families.
As we become more educated, move further up the corporate ladder or embark on a new business endeavor, it benefits our families too. Money is not everything, but it does not hurt to
earn extra cash to invest in a bigger home, pay for private school or save for our children’s college tuition.
2. When Mama Is Happy, Everyone Is Happy.
Career satisfaction, girls’ nights out and dates nights make us happy and when we’re in a good mood, we light up the lives of the people around us. Positive energy is contagious, especially to
the people in our homes. On the flipside, negative energy is just as contagious. If we’re unhappy with our careers because we’re allowing the guilt to hold us back or we’re consistently taking
care of the house without a night off to just have fun, we can harbor resentment. We have to keep ourselves at peace before we can make anyone else happy.
3. Don’t Allow Other People’s Judgements And Comments To Increase The Guilt.
People will unintentionally make negative comments and I don’t think people realize that if us busy moms could be at every school function, every PTA meeting and every football game, we would
be. We have to shake off the comments that challenge our actions and respond with a smile. Try not to take offense, we do not owe an explanation to anyone. We know what we’re working towards.
4. Communicate
Before our children can even ask why we’re away so much or why we missed an important event in their lives, we need to explain to them what we have on our plates. We can plan specific days where we do something fun with our kids or plan a Netflix night with the next free moment we get. As long as they are aware that we are going to be busy and why it is important that we complete that particular task, they will understand and appreciate us more when they do get to spend quality time with us.
Now, I am by no means saying that it will be simple to kick the guilty feelings we have however, these tips will make it a little easier to get us through the difficult moments. Hard work, education and genuine happiness are things our children can look up to. They will love and appreciate everything we have done for them and the well-being of our families.
You are a supermom and don’t you ever forget it!
Born and raised in Cleveland, Ohio, Daisha Olmeda is a mother, wife and nonprofit professional with a bachelor’s degree in Public Relations. In 2016, Daisha started a personal blog and this year, a YouTube channel. She is also currently in a Master of Public Administration program, set to graduate in 2020.
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