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The use of Social Media continues to increase and be the most prevelant use of computer technology that society uses daily. We feel the constant need to look at our phones - and every time we receive a beep of a text or alerts from Whatsapp, Twitter or Instagram we get a social rush. Receiving alerts from devices has become our reality. We could be anywhere in the world, on the train going to work, at the beach sipping a mimosa, in a coffee shop and there we are 'tap tapping' away or at home in bed checking what your favourite followers are up to. However, it's becoming more than just our reality; the word to use is - 'obsession', like a drug that we cannot quit. It has now become our normal way of life to share and post information about each other - such as with friends, celebrities and influencers, and once we indulge in following each other, we are more connected than ever. Some people might say that it's a good thing to be connected to anyone and everyone, but to a certain extent, the more we have access and allow social media to take over our lives, the more we watch others and begin to compare. We start to analyse our own lives and reflect on how we can change and improve, but should we suffer at the expense of social media or would it be a good option to take a break or even deactivate your account? Which sounds extreme, but we all need to take a breather from time to time. Three ladies made the healthy decision and decided to have a Social Media detox: Michele Ong, an inspiring writer who decided to say “au revoir” to Social Media, because it became her whole life. Scanning news feeds every few minutes, viewing wedding engagements, adventurous holidays and upcoming baby showers. “I can feel a headache approaching, lol." She needed to drown out the noise of the constant beeping from her devices. As soon as she made the sacrifice, it was the best thing she ever did. She stopped having negative thoughts, focussed more on the positives in her life and reconnected with her friends. “Moving away from social media has allowed me to cancel out all this noise, and to re-gather my focus”, said Michele Ong.​ Writer Anna Newell Jones thought it would be a good idea to connect with friends and meet new acquaintances, but decided to delete her Twitter account because it became, again “overwhelming and confusing”. As you get so many notifications all at once, you don't know which one to look at first and soon your mission will be getting as many likes and followers as possible. “I guarantee, digitally downsizing will open up opportunities and experiences in your life that you never could have imagined”, said Anna Newell Jones. For Writer Olivia Mulligan, she found herself constantly scrolling. This is not a health decision to embrace as it can affect your mood and sleeping pattern, which may lead to insomnia and depression. Embracing this detox, she felt free, more productive and achieved better sleep. "I am in control of what I do and when, and I have the confidence to be online and not addicted", said Olivia Mulligan. You need to tell yourself the life behind social media is not their normal lives. You have no idea what the other person is going through or what they have to deal with on a daily basis. The best practice is not to have a detox every once in a while. To ask the question, is Social Media Making Us Depressed? The answer is yes it can, but more importantly it depends on the person’s mental state and how they allow social media to take effect their lives, especially when you have multiple notifications from not just one, three or even five social platforms beeping daily. It can be overwhelming and stressful but you still have the ability to reduce your searching, peek-a-booing, gazing and observing ways to a minimum or timing yourself, ensuring you switch off. Social Media consumption can effect someone dealing with depression and I can sympathise with these feelings as I have been through something similar myself - but you realise people are creating a moment that expresses 'their' happiness and looking at their lives, how is it benefitting you as a person? You need to occupy yourself with activities that serve you well - such as going out to dinner with a friend, picing up a boozk, taking on a new and fulfilling hobby and not being consumed and absorbed into the world of social media and the obsessive selfie taking moment. You have the opportunity to create face to face moments instead and that is something you should be practicing and cherishing the opportunity to do so forever. Charlene Foreman is a thirty something Londoner, who works as a fashion editorial writer. She has strong interests in art, fashion, photography, lifestyle and travel and enjoys expressing her knowledge and experiences with others.

Have you ever had the pleasure of visiting the Gynaecologist, with guess who, your mother?! I think not. Watch this short film, which is based on a true story, where filmmaker Sarah Heitz de Chabaneix shared this experience with her mother a few years ago - generating the idea that Gynecology wasn’t a subject often approached in cinema. With this Chabaneix felt it would be amazing comedy material. Take a seat, press play and have a giggle with us.

Returning to work after kids has become a must for the majority of mothers, especially within the current climate. Whether you need the income, need to retain your job or are just wanting to return to work – there has never been more mothers returning to the workforce than now. It is a huge adjustment, which can evoke anxiety amongst many women - ‘does my brain still know how to do this?’ is a thought that often arises, especially for those mamas who may have had many years off to see their little ones through toddlerhood and school. Your confidence can take a hit - and it can be a helluva rollercoaster! The thought of everything you must cram into your days already, then throw working on top, is in one word, overwhelming. How will I achieve it all? How can I still be the best mother to my kids? How will I keep on top of the housework, the shopping, the bill-paying, being a good friend? (cue implosion). First step - chill. Do not give in to the overwhelm. It will absolutely not help and you will end up ugly-crying in the toilet. Second step, take each day as it comes, move one foot in front of the other and it will all come together. If you are questioning yourself and wondering whether you can do it. Let me tell you, you absolutely can. There are so many pros to working that can often get overlooked in the overwhelm: Socialising and relationships. Being social with adults and not centering your conversations around poop, sleep patterns and baby food, is wonderful! (and sometimes those stories slip in there, too, and that's okay.) Getting those synapses firing. When you are at home on maternity leave, the ‘norm’ changes and you get used to thinking about the same things, troubleshooting familiar problems day-in, day-out. Working gets you focusing on different things, reacquainting you with the world outside of parenthood and flexes your brain muscle - big time. MONEY. You get paid, girlfriend! Enough said. Appreciation. You develop a new found appreciation for the time you have with your children and are more proactive in organising activities and trying new things. The parent support group. The other parents at your workplace, they know what’s up. They are so great to bounce off, debrief and vent to. They know how hard it can be to juggle it all and they always know how to offer a listening ear and make you feel better. A pain point that is often talked about is how many mothers feel like the relationship with their children will suffer in their return to work. This can be looked at as a case of quality over quantity. Yes, the physical hours with your children will be reduced but what you can fit into the time you do have with them, is what counts. ‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder’ is truly the case in returning to work as a parent. When you pick your children up from daycare or school, you want to drink up every bit of that moment, you hug them a little tighter, perhaps give them a few (hundred) more kisses and they will feel all that love. Weekends will inspire you to venture out to make up for lost time during the week. You are more inclined to organise activities, plan catch up's or kill two birds, so to speak and meet up with other friends and their kids too. Even if you don’t head out, chilling at home will be even more satisfying because you haven’t been able to do so all working week. You can throw a load of laundry on, then read your kids those books they love or build the biggest Lego tower ever. You can sit on the couch and cuddle them, not lamenting the fact you’ve already watched the Trolls movie more times than you can count and grocery shopping becomes an activity, something to share together, not a chore. So, whether you choose to return to work or you have no choice but to work; there are still many positives that can come from working as a mother. It is a juggling act, it can be tricky but it definitely doesn’t mean you won’t still have fun along the way. Author: Jessie Parker www.bornetoo.com.au Instagram: @borne_too Facebook: bornetoo

SHORT READS I remember watching my mother whizz around the kitchen. Cooking, cleaning, opening cupboard doors, closing them again. All done in such a flurry. As if she was being timed by an invisible stop watch. I remember her watching over me as I made tea or attempted to construct a delicious sandwich at the age of 10. She would linger and tell me to 'be faster.' These are words that still linger within me today. What does it mean to be productive? To be on the go 'non stop'. To check everything off your 'to do' list before midday? I've always felt a sense of urgency inside my veins. I can't sit still, and when I do, the guilt that rises inside the pit of my stomach is immeasurable. I'm not alone. It has become a world phenomenon (mostly within entrepreneurs) to be driven - constantly. Hustle culture has set fire to fatigue and burnout and I have become tired of hearing 'work whilst they sleep' - as if this is the key to success. It fries my brain. When did we become so obsessed with being 'productive' that we now frown upon rest? Where has peace disappeared to? Why has it become so rare to seek solitude, do nothing and just be? When did lying on the sofa in the still of the day, become such a judgemental sight? My attitude to productivity not only came from my mother - but society also did a great job on placing 'possession' and 'money' before peace, love and memories. Now, I welcome a good work ethic and the desire to achieve, but I would seldom choose this over inner peace and joy. Can we do away with the constant search for productivity and explore quieter realms. One day. I hope. One day.

Business be that big or small is now saying - sure have it, get yourself some flexible, remote working but where’s the infrastructure; where do parents head for the counterpart which is flexible childcare? Having children is a pricey game, and to make the maths work, most of us need to work to keep life ticking over. There is some cruel irony in the fact that sometimes our childcare is more than we earn and we find ourselves actually having to pay to work - whilst we miss out on seeing our kids. As a parent you are exposed to multiple forms of financial penalty; be it exorbitant childcare fees, curtailing your hours at work, shape shifting your career or having to stop working all together when children are young. Here’s another twisted conundrum for you, in the mad riddle that is the parenting game: Business be that big or small is now saying - sure have it, get yourself some flexible, remote working but where’s the infrastructure; where do parents head for the counterpart which is flexible childcare? The cost of childcare for children rose by an average 3% in a year with parents now paying on average £183.56 for 25 hours a week childcare for children under two. Only 59% of Local Authorities report having enough childcare available for parents working full time, down from 68% last year, which is limiting many parents’ ability to work. It’s a mess. At the same time new mothers choosing to take up freelance work rather than return to full -time office employment has shot up by 79% and the number of men freelancing growing by 36% in the same time frame. Image via Peace and Riot. So how do we, the collective parenthood, cope with keeping one foot on the career ladder and the other in our children’s lives? One solution comes in the form of a work-life integration childcare model whereby parents and children co-exist in a work space with onsite childcare. We have seen large companies such as Google in the US offering company-funded creches, but there are still high costs associated with this, footed either by the company or the parent - and parents have to commute with baby or toddler in tow. Who wants to sit on the tube with an 18 month old and their huge space-robbing buggy at 8.30am? Not parents - and definitely not their fellow passengers. Hybrid models can play a crucial role for all types of working parents. Allowing freelancers, part time and remote workers the flexibility they need to carry out their work and the power to flex those muscles to their full benefit on a logistical and emotional level. And if these hybrid models take off, then there’s the potential to free up places in traditional models for those professionals who need it the most - such as teachers, midwives, caregivers who have location based jobs, enabling local councils to achieve their targets and support their communities. Peace + Riot Founder, Caroline Newte Hardie, has set up the first credits-based, ad hoc, flexible hybrid co-work and play members space in London, Caroline says “In our shared work and play space children are with their parents, never separate; their play and gradual move to independence is supported by our staff. It’s a gentler but no less effective approach; children head off to play having settled in and just come back now and then to show off their latest creation or toy. Parents get to get on with work, but also to feel more connected and present for their children. There’s no separation anxiety, there’s no guilt. There’s just space and time.” Peace + Riot work on a credits system where one credit gives you thirty minutes of childcare and are the only credits-based ad hoc flexible same day (if needed) childcare booking system in the UK. Parents can book anything from 1 up to 6 credits at any one time and credits are available in bundles via monthly or annual memberships with a Standard membership getting you 16 credits a month from £55 a month- or in working parent terms 4 mornings or afternoons of working from home. Or for those who mostly work remotely The Every Day, Any Day membership allows you 100 credits from £150 per month, equivalent to 16 mornings or afternoons per month as WFH days. Children who attend will be looked after by PeaceKeepers; childcare professionals with DBS & first aid trained. Caroline says “Being part of the support network that allows parents to get back to work and be the parent they want to be and have the career they know they can achieve – with the right services behind them is integral to everything we offer.” Peace + Riot are currently fundraising to expand the business with more and more sites. The model is about affordability, flexibility -and convenience; the more sites the more convenient we are to our customer base. Caroline says “My hope is that we can roll out our model across the U.K. applying our signature Scandi- Industrial design to each new venue, packing them full with modern, educational and sensory toys, and having an outside garden and kitchen for healthy meals. I don’t believe parents should have to downgrade their work aspirations, currently 29% of women without access to flexible work arrangements will do exactly this, I want to work harder to make sure this doesn’t continue.” If you’d like to find out more about our Peace & Riot memberships and day passes head to peaceandriot.co Instagram @peaceandriotco

On 21st March, the parent company Match.com, Plenty of Fish and Tinder launched an exciting new dating app for guess who? Single parents, to help them on their quest to find true love. What does it mean to be a single parent who wants to date - a whole damn lot. There's so much to deal with in the process. Aimlessly planning babysitting, schedules around school activities, bed times, not to mention the tough decision of whether you should mention that you even have kids or not - as, as my friend once strategically pointed out that I should never mention my little tribe in my dating profile. So, when news about Stir was going around the editing community - I was excited to learn more about the new, innovative dating app. Would it make the possibility of finding someone a little easier for me - a single parent to one? When I took a closer look inside the app, what I found was actually warming. Parents can compare their schedules and match via questions based around personality and values. Things that mean a lot to us as individuals. The company said Stir aims to help single parents by focusing on the specific dating needs of single parents that aren't typically addressed on mainstream dating apps. Dinh Thi Bui, vice president of new verticals at Match Group, told CNN Business. "​​Every year, we survey and interview singles, and every year, we find the same recurring theme: single parents are having a hard time dating," "They felt stigmatized in the dating world, like it is a turn-off to disclose they have children. We also saw that single parents naturally gravitate towards other single parents because they didn't have to explain their constraints as they were in the same stage of life." Bui also mentioned that the idea for the app came about as a result of his sister, who has two children and didn't feel comfortable signing up for a dating service after she heard about the specific challenges single parents face online. "I saw these challenges she faced getting back into the dating world, and I wanted to build a supportive community that catered to single parents like her and make it easier for them to connect without fear of judgment," he said. "The members don't have to second guess if it will be an issue to disclose they have kids, or that they might have to cancel a date because they couldn't find a babysitter." For many single parents Stir might actually be the route to dating that they've been waiting for. I for one will be giving it a go. I'm looking forward to being able to give full disclosure about my children and what I want out of dating - and hopefully connecting with someone who possesses the same values. Wish me luck. Stir is available for download via the apple app store and google play.

By Suze Somerville The power of sisterhood is undisputed. The absence or lack of a meaningful friendship in our lives can sometimes have a detrimental effect leading to loneliness and/or an effect on our mental health. Some of us are lucky to have experienced a friendship spanning decades and are still enjoying this. Sadly, some of us may have lost a friend to death, logistics of moving home, or simply one has outgrown the other....all of which can leave us with an empty void. However, if we are ever in this situation we must remember that friendships can happen at any time in our lives and we never know who’s around the corner or how much meaning they will bring into our life. A friend we’ve only just made can become our new BFF and surpass other friendships we’ve had for years and years. On March 8th we acknowledged International Women’s Day where we celebrate the achievements of women. I’d stumbled upon an interesting group on social media about friendship for ladies which caught my attention so I thought I’d check it out. It seemed rather fitting that our interview fell on International Women’s day as this group is about the empowerment of women in connecting, making friends and supporting each other along the way. Although still in its infancy and ironing out challenges created by such a fast-growing community it has now reached 3.4k members in the space of just six weeks. The one thing she has learnt from the expat lifestyle is ‘the importance of putting yourself out there and making new friends or ending up living a solitary life.’ My laptop was playing up and I had to resort to my mobile at the last minute leaving me slightly flustered as I dialled in. I hadn’t realised the phone had slipped until I caught sight of the screen in horror and quickly repositioned it back up towards my face. I was instantly put back to my relaxed self after Candice joked, ‘Ah, a face! I was wondering what I was looking at,’ as we erupted into laughter. I smiled acknowledging mutual energy. We all know within seconds whether we are going to get along when we meet someone new. Our energies introduce us long before words are spoken. We are all energy! Candice who lives in Kent is an ex-patriate, originally from South Africa who spent 20 years in the Middle East and says the one thing she has learnt from the expat lifestyle is ‘the importance of putting yourself out there and making new friends or ending up living a solitary life.’ She is a confident woman with a no-nonsense approach. She explained that Mary, the other lady who had the idea for the group was a little on the shy side and couldn’t make the interview but we agreed to go ahead and I’d catch up with Mary later. Candice had stumbled upon the group herself when it was approaching its 100th member and Mary, realising she couldn’t manage the fast-growing group on her own, was asking for admins to join and help out. Candice approached Mary and very efficiently set about organising the layout of the page and ironing out difficulties with members, creating rules and guidelines for membership. Mary had no idea the group would develop so quickly or what direction it would travel in. Although the group was very much Mary’s creation, Candice is the cogs of the machine, making sure everything runs as smoothly as possible for its eclectic group of members with a demographic of women aged 18-90+! From left to right enjoying one of the many ‘Kent Ladies Friendship Group’ meet ups - Natalia, Geraldine, Hema, Barbara. ​ When asking about the vision for the group and what makes it different from any other support group on social media, Candice shared, ‘It’s one thing having a core group where you can introduce yourself and arrange a meeting, but we wanted something different from any other social group and that was achieved by channelling common interests and guiding our female members towards each other through the setting up of sub-groups.’ Candice tells me this is proving to be quite a full-time role requiring diligence, compassion and an open mind. She tells me the admin team work together closely to ensure everyone feels respected and supported. Over the six weeks Candice has created an array of sub-groups including crafting, book club, pet owners and live events. They also have a photography club, bereavement support and for those who want to come away from the bustle of the main group, ‘The Quiet Zone’ where members can talk about mental health, wellbeing, self-care and receive support and understanding. More sub-groups are being added by request and it seems there is no limit to what Kent Ladies Friendship is willing to offer its members. There is also a business networking opportunity for those who want to promote their services within the group. Of course, hosting a fast-growing group of women of complexity and diversity doesn’t come without its challenges. I’d seen a few posts myself and winced as some seemingly vulnerable or naïve women had given out personal details or commented on a post causing ruffled feathers. When the posts suddenly disappeared I was curious as to how they were addressing and managing any potential problems which arise. The group has a team of moderators and admins who approve posts before they go live. They also scroll through posts daily to ensure their members’ are keeping themselves safe and when needed, will private message them having a conversation about what they have shared online. Candice tells me this is proving to be quite a full-time role requiring diligence, compassion and an open mind. She tells me the admin team work together closely to ensure everyone feels respected and supported. We are strong, we are somebody. We are enough and we make a difference. We all have mental health! I’m putting this out there because we all know how difficult it can be to manage our own emotions at times. Now imagine someone who is battling with their mental health on top of feeling emotive... so the message is clear, just be nice. And if we can’t be nice, scroll along. We are an empowerment of women who can sometimes be vulnerable and even volatile and yet we each bring something to the table of life and friendship. We are strong, we are somebody. We are enough and we make a difference. And somewhere out there in the ether, or maybe a couple of streets along, unbeknown to us, there is a stranger waiting to become our friend... someone who is on our energy frequency and gets us! The group reminds us all that no matter our background, experience or social status we all have the human need and desire to connect and make friends, which brings with it a sense of purpose, self-worth and enjoyment. Deep down we all want to feel accepted, cared about and thought of. We are all social creatures who thrive in a supportive environment where we feel acknowledged and more importantly understood. We need friends and friends need us. In fact, you may have heard the saying, ‘Friends are the family we choose for ourselves.’ And this group is endeavouring to offer exactly that! You can check out Kent Ladies friendship Group on Facebook at Kent Ladies. Since going to print, I have been informed that Mary has sadly removed herself from the group due to personal reasons, but the ethos of this rapidly growing group (which stands at 3.5k now), very much remains and that is to offer a place for women to meet, make friends, feel empowered and support each other. Suze Somerville is a Psychological Wellbeing Practitioner and Coach experienced and the Author of Crazy Love, Crazy Life, available on Lulu and Amazon. suze@suzesomerville.co.uk

by Grace Akinsola When you look in the mirror what do you see? I asked my eight year old daughter. "Um, someone funny, who likes chocolate milk, art and Anime," she replied, with a smile. My apprehension, now a little soothed, as she hadn't pointed out her physical appearance. I wondered, at what stage in life had I begun to loathe and question my appearance and body? Did the voice of a boyfriend who came before, still linger in my mind? Did my overconsumption of certain magazines in my teens - with articles that ridiculed women about their weight - influence my thought pattern? I remember how frail I was as a young girl and all the trouble my mother would go through, taking me to the doctors to find out why I was not eating and why I was not the recommended weight for my age. Did my insecurities stem from early childhood? In my early teens, I would often wear several pairs of tights, under my school uniform skirt, as my legs were stick thin - just like Olive - from Popeye - one friend would imply. In my early twenties I thought I was relatively happy with my body. The filling out stage was upon me, but the filling - per se, was not. My breasts certainly weren't large enough, in my opinion. My friends would fill out the top half of their dresses - impressively - and I would resort to enhancing my chest area with tissue, socks or push up pads. Where was I getting the continued messaging that I was not enough? That I was less than - because I did not resemble the shapes of women emblazoned on the front covers of magazines. The women chosen didn't depict real womanhood or the women I knew in real life. In my thirties, after having my daughter, things began to shift in my mind. I didn't want to raise a young girl who would enter womanhood with pressing doubts about her weight and appearance - or have her struggle with thoughts that she wasn't enough. I needed to change my own mindset as well as begin to shape hers, positively. The media continue to distort our self-image and self-value by displaying unrealistic body and beauty images in magazines, catwalks and on the television. They continuously make us hate and question our body types, breast size, attractiveness and more - which are all measured by impossible beauty standards. Standards that are in place to ensure we feel negativity towards ourselves and continue to buy what ever product they're pushing. We definitely owe the next generation a future that is not based on body shape, weight, height and outward appearance. A depiction of real womanhood - encapsulated by an array of races, body shapes, heights, skin textures and so on. After almost forty years, I now know that the opinions of others - that I used to desperately seek, should never have overshadowed my opinion of myself. We are all uniquely and beautifully created to stand out and be different. Individualism is an absolutely beautiful gift. If we embrace that more - we can surely head towards a future of better self-image and self-love.

by Shanice Hoo Mills International Women’s Day finally arrived and it reminded us of how powerful we are as women. The idea of being an independent, strong woman has evolved over the years. From fighting for the right to vote, to ownership, right through to equality on pay. Women for many years have had to fight for their voices to be heard. Even in today’s new era, where women are still fighting to sit at the top, we see the misogynistic ideals seep through policies and media. Don’t get me wrong, it is something that is progressive and we have been able to celebrate several victories in terms of women elevating in male dominated spaces. But the question is this, do we need to be iron ladies in terms of business as a necessary measure or a necessity. I say it is a necessity. I enjoy being a woman, in fact, I love being a woman, but I am tired of having to fight for the respect I too should have received at birthright. Since the beginning of time, especially since becoming an entrepreneur, I have had to put this iron cloak on not just as a woman, but as a black woman. I want women, our words, our bodies, our businesses, our mere existence to be taken seriously across all accounts. My vulnerabilities I protect and I downplay the emotional effects being in a space like this has on me. I have experienced a variety of frustrations, from being inappropriately spoken to, sexualised, overlooked and not taken seriously from the first instance. And I can say it is exhausting to say the least. I strive for excellence in all I do, but at times I feel like why do I bother? What is the point if I have to constantly fight to be heard or taken seriously? Well, I look at my daughter and think that’s exactly why. I want women, our words, our bodies, our businesses, our mere existence to be taken seriously across all accounts. Standing firm in what you believe and what you stand for is important because we live in a society where people are highly influenced by whatever deems to be trendy. So, I got past my anger, my frustrations and decided that it was a necessity to be an iron lady. I allowed the mixture of those emotions to be my strength when I felt weary. Standing firm in what you believe and what you stand for is important because we live in a society where people are highly influenced by whatever deems to be trendy. I no longer desire to be heard by men who do not understand the perils of what it is to be a woman in todays’ society, because in my eyes they don’t deserve my air time. I will not downplay my sexiness in fear of sexualisation because I am a woman and sexiness is part of our being. We are magical beings, strong beings, intelligent and complicated but that’s what makes us so magical. If you can’t respect what I bring to the table then you do not deserve to sit at my table nor will I beg to be a part of yours. Consequently, womeneralship is never easy and there is no right or wrong because success is measured differently through the eye of the beholder. So yes, being an iron lady in business is needed because we will not downplay our offering and what we bring to the economy. In fact what we bring to this world! Shanice Hoo Mills is a mother of one and founder of Kallure Consulting, a London based communications agency. www.kallure.co.uk

by Anu Verma Unfortunately, I have been in two narcissistic relationships, both which involved control, manipulation and betrayal. My first toxic relationship, started out great, as they usually do. His initial words and actions made me feel like I was on a pedal stool. He showered me with romantic dinners and made it seem as though we had similar interests. He had an opinion about all of my family and friends - including my parents. He made it seem as though nobody had my best interest at heart, and that I was so much better off without them. He purchased jewellery which was antique, so I had no idea what it would have cost him. The gaslighting started when he used to make me feel guilty if I could not meet him and he would sulk, which would make me feel bad, so I would cancel my plans to go and see him. He informed me that he had a very successful 'house of multiple occupancy' business which was bringing in good money. I was wowed and thought I had finally found my 'Prince Charming' as I called him. Unfortunately, all of these words of his were lies, as I found out his true colours, after he had deceived me out of £6,500, by using my credit card to purchase a Panerai watch! He had promised that he would pay the credit card bill when it came through, as he had rental money coming through that month from an overdue tenant and so he was waiting for the cash to turn up in his bank account. I was left dazzled and confused, however, I trusted that he would pay my credit card bill when his money came through. I found out later that there was no money coming through from any tenant and my credit card bill had not been paid. Weeks passed and the relationship turned sour as I began to demand my money back. He began to use this as a way to control and abuse me. The relationship ended, I took him to court and won. He attempted to appeal against the judge’s decision, thankfully he lost both appeals. He is paying me back to this day through monthly instalments, which is empowering for me and an absolute sign of victory. I am glad that he wasn’t able to get away with this because I know that in his previous relationships, the women were left bruised and traumatised by him as he had won and gained the power and control that he desired due to his own insecurities. This is common for narcissists and so we need to gain back our power and control to stand up for ourselves and for our rights. Let’s not let the abusers win. Anu Verma is the founder of Victim2Victor.net Anu's website, book and podcast aim to empower and inspire survivors, showing them that healing from sexual and domestic abuse is possible.

by Claire Crosby March 8th marks Women's International Day. International Women's Day also known as IWD, happens every year on March 8th and is a way to celebrate the achievements of women, whilst also equally focusing on discrimination, gender pay gap, sexism and much more. Starting over 100 years ago, the day is still very prominent all over the world and continues to grow each and every year. With the rise of social media usage, body positivity talks and campaigns, the 'MeToo' movement and the sheer fact that women are beginning to use their voices, much louder than ever before, we have seen a rise in the popularity of the day. The first National Woman’s Day, was held in New York City on February 28, 1909. With people coming out in their thousands in the hopes to unify both the suffragist and socialist causes. The writer Charlotte Perkins addressed the crowds and said “It is true that a woman’s duty is centred in her home and motherhood, but home should mean the whole country, and not be confined to three or four rooms or a city or a state.” In Europe, the concept of a "woman's day" became quite popular. The inaugural International Woman's Day was observed on March 19, bringing in nearly 1 million people to demonstrations around the world. Most attempts at social reform came to a standstill when World War I broke out in 1914, but women continued to march on International Woman's Day. International Women's Day is now celebrated in over 100 countries and marked as a national holiday in 25. Sadly, although women have been fighting for equality for over 100 years, we still do not hold the presence or have the acceptance that we deserve. There are still prominent issues with gender inequality, equal pay, sexism, violence against women and girls and much more. Therefore on IWD, women, across the globe continue to come together to remind the world of these continuing inequalities and injustices – whilst also celebrating the achievements of women who have overcome these barriers. Where are we now? It has become very highlighted that we are still not where we need to be as women. With rape and murders, that of which has recently been highlighted in the killings of Sarah Everard and Sabina Nessa. In 2021 Research from the Femicide Census - an organisation which collects information on men's violence against women - calculates that across the UK, 1,425 women were killed by men in the 10 years to 2018. That is about one killing every three days. Even over 50 years since the Pay Gap came into existence, but there is still a huge difference in male and female salaries - with a 10% gap between men's and women's average hourly rate and a 30% gap when women's part-time hourly rate is compared with men's full-time hourly rate. This Years Theme This years theme centres around breaking the bias and can be found under the hashtag #BreakTheBias. The messaging is to promote a world free from bias, alongside discrimination, and other issues faced by women. IWD 2022 campaign theme #BreakTheBias Imagine a gender equal world. A world free of bias, stereotypes, and discrimination. A world that is diverse, equitable, and inclusive. A world where difference is valued and celebrated. Together we can forge women's equality. Collectively we can all #BreakTheBias. Ways to get involved? The IWD team are prompting people to get involved by taking a picture of the Break The Bias pose as seen in the video above and sharing this on social media using the hashtag #BreakTheBias - in doing so, they hope to reach millions across the globe and help to continue to push the agenda for change. IWD will be looking through the hashtag and selecting indivudks/groups to feature on their social media and website.

Cindy - Get out of bed, take a shower and then take a walk outside every day. Logan - Wake up early every day and workout. It helps to decrease the stress on your mind and gives your body strength and mobility. Sia - Stop taking responsibility for other peoples emotions. Kirsty - You can't pour from an empty cup. Nu - Acceptance is not the same as agreement. Life is full of things we have to accept. But just because you accept something, that does not mean you have to agree with it. Annie - Practice Gratitude. It'll keep you grounded no matter how rich or knowledgeable your and you'll earn others respect. And honestly it's really good for your well-being. Kate - Someone else's opinion of you is none of your business. Rebecca - No, is a complete sentence. Stop over explaining yourself. Kim - If there's one thing I've learnt from therapy - it's that, everyone needs therapy. Nicole - I am not on this planet to fulfil other peoples expectations. Ruth - No response, is a response. Brenda - Talk to yourself the way you would your best friends. Laura - Your feelings are worthy. Annie - Not everyone thinks the same way I do. Emma - Learn assertiveness. Its not being submissive or being aggressive. This way you feel you stood up for yourself as you have the right to be heard. Lucy - Other peoples choices and actions often have nothing to do with you. Susan - Feelings are not facts. Do not let your feelings determine reality. Find the facts in a situation and then act accordingly. Sophie - Red flags mean stop. Not keep investing for hoe much you can get hurt. Grace - Progressive muscle relaxation and breathing techniques are key. Melinda - If both the easy path and the hard path lead you to your destination then sometimes its okay to chose the easy path. Clara - Their words about you define their personality more than yours. Chloe - Learn to appreciate yourself Alexandra - Negative thinking patterns learnt in childhood, significantly effect how you feel. If you change the way you think you'll change the way you feel. Lydia - You can't stop nor should you want to control peoples relationships with others. Sometimes they don't work stop trying to fix them.