What is the definition of self-validation?
The feeling of having recognized, confirmed, or established one's own worthiness or legitimacy
We can't depend on others to make us happy, if we do, we give others the power to determine our worth. We also don't trust our own feelings, judgements, or thoughts; we believe others know more than we do and that their opinions are more important. We become needy and seek validation in ways that irritate others – behaviours that scream, "My self-esteem is low, and I need you to tell me I'm OK."
The following are examples of ways to
self-validate:
Boosting your confidence.
Recognising your talents, accomplishments, growth, and effort.
Recognising and embracing your emotions.
Organising your requirements.
Taking good care of yourself.
Self-complimenting is a great way to start the day.
Accepting your shortcomings, errors, and limits.
Self-criticism, comparing oneself to others, downplaying or ignoring your needs and feelings, perfectionism, and severe self-judgment are all invalidating behaviours.
Self-validation is a learned ability that takes time to master. It will be difficult at first. Begin by doing or saying at least one self-validating item every day (see suggestions below), and if you've mastered that, aim for two a day.
Validating oneself will become second nature with practise. You'll seek less external validation as you grow better at validating yourself, and you'll have less tolerance for people invalidating you as well.