As women, we are often encouraged to be humble, to downplay our successes, and to make ourselves smaller in order to avoid making others uncomfortable. We’re told to be polite, not to be 'too much,' and to sideline our aspirations for the benefit of others. These messages, often subtle, sometimes direct, can become deeply embedded in our psyches, manifesting as self-doubt, silence, and the feeling that we don’t belong in certain spaces.
But here’s the truth: we belong everywhere. We have the right to take up space, use our voices, and step into our power with confidence and boldness. Whether you're striving to climb the corporate ladder, run your own business, or simply be heard and seen in your personal life, embracing your power is essential. In this article, we’ll explore how to silence those nagging doubts and truly lean into the full breadth of your potential.
The Origin of Self-Doubt
Before we can address self-doubt, we need to understand where it comes from. For many women, it starts early, whether through societal conditioning, family expectations, or cultural norms that push us into certain roles. Historically, women have been underrepresented in leadership, media, and many other arenas, leading to a lack of visible role models for young girls to look up to.
We are often told, directly or indirectly, that we aren’t enough, smart enough, strong enough, assertive enough, experienced enough. The result? A constant feeling of needing to prove ourselves, and when we succeed, we chalk it up to luck rather than skill.
Why You Should Silence Self-Doubt
Self-doubt is not just an emotional inconvenience; it can hold you back from pursuing opportunities, expressing your needs, and achieving your goals. When you doubt your capabilities, you give others the power to define you. Imagine all the ideas, initiatives, and innovations that never see the light of day because we tell ourselves we’re not ready or worthy.
Shutting down those internal voices of doubt isn't about pretending you're invincible; it's about recognising the inherent worth and value that you bring. You don’t have to be perfect to take up space, you just have to be unapologetically yourself. When you allow self-doubt to rule, you limit not only your potential but also the potential impact you can have on the world around you.
Leaning into Your Power
Stepping into your power starts with a decision: the decision to trust yourself. Trust in your abilities, your intuition, and your right to be heard. It’s about recognising that your voice matters, and that you have something valuable to contribute, whether it’s in a boardroom, a conference, a community group, or in your personal relationships.
1. Define What Power Means to You
Power looks different for everyone. For some, it’s about leadership; for others, it’s about being assertive or confident in their decisions. Understanding what personal power means to you will help you identify how to lean into it. Ask yourself: What does power feel like? What do I look like when I’m powerful? What spaces do I want to take up with this power?
2. Stop Apologising for Taking Space
Women are often conditioned to shrink themselves, both literally and figuratively. Whether it’s apologising for speaking up in a meeting, physically making ourselves smaller in crowded spaces, or downplaying our achievements, we’ve been taught that less is more. But taking up space is not an act of defiance; it’s a natural extension of your presence. Practice reframing your thoughts: instead of worrying about 'bothering' others with your voice or ideas, focus on the value you are adding to the conversation.
3. Embrace Imperfection
Many of us wait until we feel fully prepared or until we’ve perfected something before we take the next step. But perfectionism is often just another form of self-doubt. It’s a way to delay action and keep us playing small. Understand that growth comes from action, imperfect, messy, and sometimes uncertain action. You don’t have to have everything figured out to start; you just need to begin.
Using Your Voice: Be Bold and Unapologetic
One of the most empowering things you can do as a woman is to use your voice, unapologetically, without restraint. Your voice is your tool for advocacy, whether it’s for yourself or others. Yet, many of us are hesitant to speak up, fearing judgment, rejection, or being labeled as 'difficult.'
1. Speak Up Even When It’s Uncomfortable
It can feel daunting to speak up, especially in environments where your voice may not always be welcomed. But remember: staying silent won’t protect you from discomfort. In fact, it often leads to more frustration and resentment in the long run. Whether it’s advocating for yourself at work, setting boundaries in a relationship, or sharing your opinion in a conversation, speaking up affirms your worth.
2. Own Your Narrative
There is incredible power in owning your story. You’ve lived through challenges, learned hard lessons, and accomplished so much already. Don’t let others write the script of your life. Own your narrative, flaws and all, and use it to fuel your confidence. When you embrace all parts of yourself, including the vulnerable parts, you’ll find that you have much more to say and contribute.
3. Be Loud in Pursuit of What You Want
Women are often taught to be subtle in our ambitions. But subtlety isn’t always what’s needed. Sometimes, you need to be loud about what you want. Don’t wait for permission or opportunities to be handed to you. Ask for them, demand them, and if necessary, create them yourself. Whether you’re asking for a raise, pitching your business, or speaking up for a cause that matters to you, don’t be afraid to be bold. You deserve to be heard.
Redefining What It Means to Take Up Space
Taking up space isn’t about being loud for the sake of it. It’s about acknowledging that your presence, ideas, and contributions are valid and needed. It’s about standing tall in your authenticity and refusing to shrink, even when it feels more comfortable to do so.
1. Surround Yourself with Empowering People
The people around you can either uplift you or cause you to doubt yourself. Surround yourself with those who encourage you to take up space and push you to be the best version of yourself. Whether it’s through friendships, mentors, or professional networks, having a solid support system will empower you to stay strong in moments of doubt.
2. Recognise the Ripple Effect
When you step into your power, you don’t just elevate yourself, you create a ripple effect. Other women, seeing you take up space, will be inspired to do the same. By using your voice, you're paving the way for others to feel confident in using theirs. Together, we can create a world where women no longer feel the need to apologise for their presence, but instead, claim their rightful space.
It’s Time to Stand Tall
Shutting down doubts, leaning into your power, and using your voice isn’t a one-time action, it’s a daily practice. Each time you choose to assert yourself, each time you decide not to shrink, you build a stronger foundation for future action. So, stand tall. Be bold. Use your voice. Take up space. The world needs women like you to lead with power, presence, and purpose.